Living with a new hope

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Samphors* is the answer to 1,000 wishes and 1,000 prayers. She is the child her aunt dreamed of, the one she could never have had naturally on her own.

At 61, Chenda* is a mother for the first time. Samphors is 13, and has been living with Chenda for most of her life. Samphor’s biological mother, Chenda’s sister, is still alive too. Chenda and Samphors adore each other, affectionately calling each other Kon (child) and Mer (mother). It’s a surprise happy ending to a traumatizing story.

Married and without children

As a young woman, Chenda constantly imagined the life their family would lead.

“I used to dream that I would live with my husband on a plot of land that had a gas station business and several helpers,” Chenda says. But Chenda’s lifelong dream never came true. She was never able to have children of her own. 

This caused a strain on her relationship. Her husband decided to take a second wife, in order to ensure he had a legacy. Chenda admits she didn’t know at the time that her husband started seeing another woman. She won’t say how it felt or how she learned about their relationship, only that she is not angry anymore.

“What I am worried about is the five young children of his second wife,” Chenda says. 

“I am not scared of living with HIV because many people have diseases such as diabetes, blood pressure, hepatitis B, diarrhea, or malaria. Thus, I should be strong to continue my life,” Chenda says. 

A four letter disease

Chenda learned that her husband’s second wife had HIV and soon her husband was sick too.

“I was in [a] hopeless situation,” Chenda says. When Chenda decided to get tested herself, the health workers confirmed her suspicion – she was infected too.

 “I took care of my husband and my weight fell from 50 kilogram to 28 kilograms, and I, and other people, thought that I would die,” Chenda says. Nine months after her diagnosis, Chenda’s husband did die. Chenda believed the end was near for her too.

The small business she owned with her husband – a pharmacy – failed.

“After they knew that my husband died because of AIDS, I lived on less than 5,000 riel (1.25 US dollars) a day. The [neighbours] said not to go and buy medicine from a person living with AIDS.”

In the community, Chenda’s neighbours gossiped about her and isolated her.

“I was discriminated when I was in Preyveng, so I decided to move to live this place [Kien Svay district] in 2004,” Chenda says. 

“World Vision is like a palm tree boat come to rescue me,” Chenda says with a broad smile

Saved from a river of hopelessness 

In 2004, Chenda met a man living with HIV and AIDS who introduced her to World Vision.  

“World Vision is like a palm tree boat come to rescue me,” Chenda says with a broad smile. “I received rice, cooking oil and instant noodle for people living HIV and AIDS,” Chenda continues. Aside from relief food, World Vision also provides counseling and knowledge for the family’s sustainability.

“I am not scared of living with HIV and AIDS because many people have diseases such as diabetes, blood pressure, hepatitis B, diarrhea or malaria. Thus, I should be strong to continue my life,” Chenda says. 

A bright future

World Vision also provided agriculture training to Chenda among 696 families of orphans and vulnerable children with skills such as raising piglets, chickens and ducks. For more income, they establish micro-enterprise businesses. 

“I plan to buy a net to install surround my house and then I will raise chickens and pigs,” Chenda.

World Vision helped create a self-help group for people living with HIV and AIDS.

“Through this group we can share information and knowledge. We created a savings box and I borrowed money three times from the group for buying more products for my grocery shop,” Chenda says.

Dreams coming true

Today, Chenda shares her life with Samphors – a girl who brings her endless joy. Samphors is in Grade 7 at school, and Chenda proudly says that she is very obedient, very helpful. 

At her shop, Chenda sells cooking oil, cookies, cracker, salt, drinks and other necessary groceries. On a sunny morning, customers arrive in groups with cheerful greetings. Chenda feels restored and looks forward to the future. 

“My future dream is for my daughter. I work hard to support her to school. I want to see her healthy and become a nurse or doctor,” Chenda says.

*Names changed for their protection