Keeping children in the family
"When everything seems hopeless, God brings people into your life at the right time,” says Arjan, a father who is raising alone his three children, Mateo 8, Malvina 7 and Fabiana 8. From more than two years now, their mother has left the house, her three children and husband.
Arjan helping his daughter Malvina to get dressed for school. Photo by Bardha Qokaj
In 2008, the family emigrated to Greece. The couple and their three little children were living happy together until something tragic happen. At the age of 5, their older son Fabian got pneumonia and he passed away. His wife couldn’t accept this and felt in depression. One year later, they had another baby girl, who got her brother’s name, Fabiana; still, his wife couldn’t get over the death of their son. At some point, due to severe depression problems, his wife started to treat the other children very badly. In 2012, the family got back to Albania with the hope that things could get better for Arjan’s wife. But, the situation got even worse. Arjan’s wife took her three little children and left home. For six months, she went to another city, to her sister’s house. “It was a nightmare to stay six month away from my children. I heard from the people that she couldn’t take care of them, and they were treated very badly. I begged her to come back but she didn’t,” recalls Arian crying. “One day she called me and said that she was leaving the children to her sister and going to Greece. So, I went there and I took back the children. I couldn’t believe it when I hugged my three little ones again,” says Arjan. He and the three kids remained alone in the middle of chaos, in total insecurity, as Arjan was unemployed and not able to provide for his kids.
The case was referred by World Vision to the Child Protection Unit (CPU). World Vision and the multi-disciplinary group gathered in the municipality to find an immediate and long-term solution. Besides the urgent help to the family, they found a job for Arjan, which was going to help them with more incomes. “There have been times when I really wanted to resign, times when we didn’t have anything to eat, times when my children got sick and I didn’t know what to do... I thought they could be better to be in residential care. When I was almost doing that, World Vision and CPU came to me and offered not only physical support, but they came and stayed close to my family in the most difficult times. They listened to me and my problems. They have been like a family for me and because of their support, we are still together” says Arjan looking with love at his children. The CPU, the municipality, World Vision and other agencies in the area are collaborating together so that Arjan’s family and 27 other families in need will have the long term support and care to raise and provide for their children.
Arjan working at construction. Photo by Bardha Qokaj
The family lives in two little rooms, in a very poor house, built recently. Despite the poverty which is easily visible, the home is full of love. Arjan is so dedicated to his children and the siblings are so close to one-another. Keeping things in order and clean is the most difficult part for Arjan, but when you see his children you almost can’t believe his words. The clothes of his children shine, although he works all day in construction. Arjan makes sure that all three children go to school prepared properly. When his kids get sick he leaves everything else and takes them to the doctor. Before he goes to work, he wakes up at 5 am to leave breakfast and lunch ready for the children. Despite their age, they also try to support their father. They make coffee for him, they don’t complain for anything and they give him lots, but lots of love.
Arjan’s children while waiting for their father to get back home. Photo by Bardha Qokaj.
Children seem to miss their mother a lot, but they don’t talk about her. When they play, the older sister Malvina becomes the mother, Mateo the father and Fabiana is the child. Despite all the suffering the family has gone through, children still have dreams and hopes, their eyes are full of light. For Arjan, the most rewarding moments are when the family gathers together for the meals and when he sees all three children sleeping in the same room. “I forget everything when I see my children happy, smiling and fed,” says Arjan holding his daughter’s hand.
Arjan's children going to school. Photo by Bardha Qokaj.