Hearing impaired parents successfully raise baby boy
Mirabela, 24, and her husband Vasile, 32, don’t know how they became hearing impaired; their parents never told them what happened. Instead of complaining or being stifled by their condition, they enrolled in a special school for hearing-impaired people in Craiova, 250 km south of Romania’s capital city Bucharest. It was there they met and fell in love. They married a year later, sharing their silent world.
“I cried a lot because I didn’t want to have a baby, at least not in that moment. I was afraid that the baby would have the same disability as us,” says Mirabela.
In 2005 Mirabela found out that she was pregnant. At first it seemed like the whole world had fallen in on her, but then she realized that God blessed her with the gift of giving birth to a child, and for a while she felt at ease. Later, she started to think about her disabilities and responsibilities for raising a baby and she spent many nights crying.
“I cried a lot because I didn’t want to have a baby, at least not in that moment. I was afraid that the baby would have the same disability as us,” says Mirabela. Yet she eventually readjusted to the idea that she would become a mom.
Several months later, in May 2006, Mirabela arrived at the Maternity Ward to give birth. The birth was normal, and Mirabela collaborated with the doctor and nurses very well. Everybody was surprised and happy that David was a healthy boy.
Nobody knew whether or not Mirabela intended to take the baby home. When Mirabela announced she would be leaving with the baby to raise him in her family, the doctors and nurses expressed their concerns. They wondered how Mirabela and Vasile would be able to take care of David when they could not hear him cry to know when he was in need.
“I had doubts about the baby’s parents taking him home because I worried about the risks to the baby. If they couldn’t hear him crying in the night, they wouldn’t know if he had a medical need or health problem. Or perhaps the baby would experience a mental delay due to lack of communication or socialization. Another big risk is if he eventually became hearing impaired as well from a genetically inherited deficiency,” says Elena N., the paediatrician in the Maternity Ward who took care of David the first few days after his birth.
“The baby has the right to live with his biological family, and the parents should have the chance to learn to be parents. All people should be treated equally as human beings regardless of religion, race, ethnicity or disability" says Sonia Iorga, social worker with World Vision.
It was then World Vision social worker Sonia Iorga got involved in the case and called Mirabela into the counselling office at the Maternity Ward. They had a long discussion through writing, eye contact and body language. She informed Mirabela on the prevention of neglect and child abuse, child development, disease prevention, breastfeeding, and other topics, and together with some medical staff she encouraged Mirabela to take her baby home.
“The baby has the right to live with his biological family, and the parents should have the chance to learn to be parents. All people should be treated equally as human beings regardless of religion, race, ethnicity or disability. And, Vasile’s sister and parents were very interested in helping look after the baby, so I disagreed with those who said the baby should be raised outside his family,” says Sonia.
After many counselling sessions in which other family members (who are perfectly healthy) participated, Mirabela and Vasile decided to take the baby home and raise him with Vasile’s parents’ support. Vasile’s sister also offered to help raise David.
When the family left the Maternity Ward, World Vision donated diapers and clothes for the little baby boy. More than that, Sonia visited the family regularly, supporting them with food supplies, diapers, clothes and counselling.
In the beginning, Mirabela and Vasile were afraid because they didn’t have any idea how to swaddle the baby, how and when to feed him, or why he was crying. When David would cry during his bath, they wondered if the water was too hot or if he was afraid of water. Yet these are the challenges that all new parents endure whether or not they have disabilities.
“People with hearing and speech impairments can have satisfying lives just like those who are not impaired. They are able to engage in relationships and marriage, attend school and get jobs in their communities. They also are equally injured by offensive behaviour towards them,” says Sonia.
Mirabela and Vasile communicate with others through writing and lip reading. “When I go shopping, I write down what I need to buy or point to the products I want,” says Mirabela. However, they are unable to write using proper grammar, which sometimes makes them feel helpless and inadequate, not to mention frustrated and misunderstood. So their world is restricted to a few people, mostly others who are hearing and speech impaired, and those people who accept them as they are.
The family lives in a house with two rooms: one is for living and eating, while the other is a stable for animals. Mirela and Vasile do their best to keep the house clean and tidy. Mirabela is a good housewife; she cooks, cleans, washes and takes care of David, who is clean cut and nicely dressed.
Mirabela is sad that she is unable to hear her son’s first words or the sound of his laughter. These losses sadden her, but she rejoices in the fact that David is a healthy boy who can hear and speak.
The family survives off the allowance they receive from the state for David and for being disabled. In addition, they breed animals and cultivate herbs and vegetables for their own consumption. Vasile works as much as he can on a building site and occasionally in other villagers’ fields to earn extra money to support his family.
From time to time, Vasile’s sister visits to help Mirabela shop or take David to his doctor appointments. Mirabela takes David to the family doctor each month to monitor his health.
David is growing fast as a normal little boy with good physical and mental development. He enjoys eating yogurt, drumsticks, oranges, bananas and soup; and listening to music and watching TV to help him develop his hearing and speaking abilities. David is able to communicate with his mother by pointing to his mouth and stomach when he is hungry. He points to the door when somebody is entering the yard because he can hear the dog barking.
Vasile and Mirabela are aware that they will never hear David recite a poem in a kindergarten festival or hear the tone of his voice when he says “mother” and “father”. Worst of all, they will never be able to use their own voices to tell David how much they love him and what he means to them.
Mirabela is sad that she is unable to hear her son’s first words or the sound of his laughter. When Mirabela plays with David, she cannot hear him saying “hallo” when he sees a mobile phone, or “Bow wow” when he hears the dog barking in the yard. These losses sadden her, but she rejoices in the fact that David is a healthy boy who can hear and speak.
“I cried a lot because I didn’t want to have a baby, at least not in that moment. I was afraid that the baby would have the same disability as us,” says Mirabela.
In 2005 Mirabela found out that she was pregnant. At first it seemed like the whole world had fallen in on her, but then she realized that God blessed her with the gift of giving birth to a child, and for a while she felt at ease. Later, she started to think about her disabilities and responsibilities for raising a baby and she spent many nights crying.
“I cried a lot because I didn’t want to have a baby, at least not in that moment. I was afraid that the baby would have the same disability as us,” says Mirabela. Yet she eventually readjusted to the idea that she would become a mom.
Several months later, in May 2006, Mirabela arrived at the Maternity Ward to give birth. The birth was normal, and Mirabela collaborated with the doctor and nurses very well. Everybody was surprised and happy that David was a healthy boy.
Nobody knew whether or not Mirabela intended to take the baby home. When Mirabela announced she would be leaving with the baby to raise him in her family, the doctors and nurses expressed their concerns. They wondered how Mirabela and Vasile would be able to take care of David when they could not hear him cry to know when he was in need.
“I had doubts about the baby’s parents taking him home because I worried about the risks to the baby. If they couldn’t hear him crying in the night, they wouldn’t know if he had a medical need or health problem. Or perhaps the baby would experience a mental delay due to lack of communication or socialization. Another big risk is if he eventually became hearing impaired as well from a genetically inherited deficiency,” says Elena N., the paediatrician in the Maternity Ward who took care of David the first few days after his birth.
“The baby has the right to live with his biological family, and the parents should have the chance to learn to be parents. All people should be treated equally as human beings regardless of religion, race, ethnicity or disability" says Sonia Iorga, social worker with World Vision.
It was then World Vision social worker Sonia Iorga got involved in the case and called Mirabela into the counselling office at the Maternity Ward. They had a long discussion through writing, eye contact and body language. She informed Mirabela on the prevention of neglect and child abuse, child development, disease prevention, breastfeeding, and other topics, and together with some medical staff she encouraged Mirabela to take her baby home.
“The baby has the right to live with his biological family, and the parents should have the chance to learn to be parents. All people should be treated equally as human beings regardless of religion, race, ethnicity or disability. And, Vasile’s sister and parents were very interested in helping look after the baby, so I disagreed with those who said the baby should be raised outside his family,” says Sonia.
After many counselling sessions in which other family members (who are perfectly healthy) participated, Mirabela and Vasile decided to take the baby home and raise him with Vasile’s parents’ support. Vasile’s sister also offered to help raise David.
When the family left the Maternity Ward, World Vision donated diapers and clothes for the little baby boy. More than that, Sonia visited the family regularly, supporting them with food supplies, diapers, clothes and counselling.
In the beginning, Mirabela and Vasile were afraid because they didn’t have any idea how to swaddle the baby, how and when to feed him, or why he was crying. When David would cry during his bath, they wondered if the water was too hot or if he was afraid of water. Yet these are the challenges that all new parents endure whether or not they have disabilities.
“People with hearing and speech impairments can have satisfying lives just like those who are not impaired. They are able to engage in relationships and marriage, attend school and get jobs in their communities. They also are equally injured by offensive behaviour towards them,” says Sonia.
Mirabela and Vasile communicate with others through writing and lip reading. “When I go shopping, I write down what I need to buy or point to the products I want,” says Mirabela. However, they are unable to write using proper grammar, which sometimes makes them feel helpless and inadequate, not to mention frustrated and misunderstood. So their world is restricted to a few people, mostly others who are hearing and speech impaired, and those people who accept them as they are.
The family lives in a house with two rooms: one is for living and eating, while the other is a stable for animals. Mirela and Vasile do their best to keep the house clean and tidy. Mirabela is a good housewife; she cooks, cleans, washes and takes care of David, who is clean cut and nicely dressed.
Mirabela is sad that she is unable to hear her son’s first words or the sound of his laughter. These losses sadden her, but she rejoices in the fact that David is a healthy boy who can hear and speak.
The family survives off the allowance they receive from the state for David and for being disabled. In addition, they breed animals and cultivate herbs and vegetables for their own consumption. Vasile works as much as he can on a building site and occasionally in other villagers’ fields to earn extra money to support his family.
From time to time, Vasile’s sister visits to help Mirabela shop or take David to his doctor appointments. Mirabela takes David to the family doctor each month to monitor his health.
David is growing fast as a normal little boy with good physical and mental development. He enjoys eating yogurt, drumsticks, oranges, bananas and soup; and listening to music and watching TV to help him develop his hearing and speaking abilities. David is able to communicate with his mother by pointing to his mouth and stomach when he is hungry. He points to the door when somebody is entering the yard because he can hear the dog barking.
Vasile and Mirabela are aware that they will never hear David recite a poem in a kindergarten festival or hear the tone of his voice when he says “mother” and “father”. Worst of all, they will never be able to use their own voices to tell David how much they love him and what he means to them.
Mirabela is sad that she is unable to hear her son’s first words or the sound of his laughter. When Mirabela plays with David, she cannot hear him saying “hallo” when he sees a mobile phone, or “Bow wow” when he hears the dog barking in the yard. These losses sadden her, but she rejoices in the fact that David is a healthy boy who can hear and speak.
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