Young widow raises five children with grace and dignity

Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Renata and her five children live in a tiny home in the city of Cluj, northwest Romania. To enter the main living quarters, one must squeeze passed pots and pans on a stove in the small entrance hall, which serves as a makeshift kitchen. In the main room, a cleverly suspended wooden structure serves as a bed for the family, while the old, wooden floor provides space for the children play, draw and do their homework. A small, windowless room reminiscent of a matchbox contains a couch and crib. A ray of light sneaks through the door of the front room, the only room with a window to the outside world.

Renata earns less than US $100 a month working a part time in a printing house. Her children receive a total of US $40 a month from the State since their father passed away.

"It has been a nightmare but I have survived. I got a job and earn enough to pay for electricity and gas. My sister found work abroad and sends money to my mother, who uses some of it to provide us with food. In exchange, I pay the electricity and gas bills for the room where my mother and sister’s child live,” says Renata.

It has been a nightmare but I have survived

“Even if our meals are simple, my children have food to eat and I am very thankful for that!" she adds.

The family shares a muddy courtyard with many other families, so Renata is reluctant to let her children play outside. She fears her children will get dirty, and she doesn\'t have many clothes for them to change into. She makes every effort to keep her children’s clothes neat and clean so that they can be worn to school.

One-year old Samuel stands in the crib, glancing curiously over rail. He looks well fed and taken care of but in the darkness of the room his face appears pale, like an indoor plant that does not receive enough light from the sun.

Claudia, 11, and Ana-Maria, 5, gaze out the window at the outside world. People are coming and going or waiting for buses at the bus stop.

"Daddy was beautiful and I loved him. I would like to see him coming back home one day," says Claudia with a pensive expression on her face. As the eldest child, she treasures her memories of her father.

Ana-Maria usually goes to kindergarten but today she is at home sick. Claudia, a fourth grade student, just came home from school. Soon she will go and fetch her 3 year-old baby sister, Rebeca, from kindergarten. Claudia is Renata\'s right hand, helping her to raise the other children. Katalin, 7, is away practicing the violin. She is in the first grade.

Renata focuses on the urgent matters within her home: folding clothes and putting them in drawers, assisting her children with their homework, and putting Samuel to sleep. There is never a days rest for her.

She is determined to get a high-school diploma and a better-paid job. She wants to set a good example for her children, to motivate them to pursue their educations and a better future.

However, she is determined to get a high-school diploma and a better-paid job. She wants to set a good example for her children, to motivate them to pursue their educations and a better future. Renata is intelligent and has noticed that people without education suffer shortcomings. For example, she is paid as an unqualified worker at the lowest level of payment, even though she performs tasks above her \'qualification\'. Yet she avoids complaining or claiming to be a victim of her social status.

Renata completed the eighth grade and at age 14, she stopped going to school. She comes from a poor family and prioritized looking after her family over her right to go to high school.

"My mother has never worked. She had each of us - two girls and a boy - with three different men. I do know my father but I do not keep in touch with him. He is a stranger to me," says Renata.

"I don\'t know how my mother raised us. I just know that I started to work when I was 13 because I needed the money. If I wanted clothes and shoes I had to buy them on my own,” continues the young woman.

“I never got along with my mother and I cannot understand her. She is young - only 48 year old – and she could find work if she wanted. But she stays at home, not concerned about the future.”

She says she married at the young age of 16 in an attempt to fill the void left by her mother and father.

Recently Renata became a World Vision beneficiary and much-needed help came in the form of clothes, shoes, and powder milk; counseling for Renata; and support groups for her older girls. Her girls were also invited to participate in games and creative activities organized by World Vision.

Renata looks to the future with eyes sparkling of hope and love. It is difficult to handle life in such dire circumstances, but she does it with grace and dignity.