Unmasking the Masked

Motherhood is a relationship that exceeds any other. This unbreakable bond means that a mother will do what it takes to keep their babies safe.

But who will protect her? While mothers spend a lifetime creating a safe space for their children, is anyone doing the same for them? Do they have a support system?

It is human nature that every strong person requires a support system. The same applies to mothers. While they carry the burden of the world on their shoulders, having a supportive family or husband would be the calm amidst a storm. But what happens when that system transforms into a den of abuse, manipulation and torment? When it thrives upon violence and feeds off abandonment and reconnection?

She was adamant about living her life to the fullest, however, life isn’t served on a silver platter. For many, it consists of ups, downs, whirlwinds and sometimes, furious tornadoes. Despite everything, Hayat’s grip on life remained unhinged knowing it had more to offer.

Hayat* is that strong mother. She has always strived to create a safe space for her three children. Ever since bombardments raided their home back in Syria, she used her body to protect her children. She is a mother and her children’s lives are worth everything.

They are even worth abandoning her country, extended family members even her home she worked tirelessly to earn so her children could see another day. According to motherly instinct, nothing stood a chance. As a result, Hayat and her family including her husband took refuge in Türkiye hoping to find some solace. As they were departing, Hayat kept praying that scenes of violence, torment and persecution remain there and would not haunt her.

Hayat Kept Praying

When the family arrived in Türkiye, they managed to secure a small home. However, after the earthquake struck, they settled in a displacement camp in the Turkish governorate, Gaziantep along with 434,045 Syrians. While staying, the mother tried to establish a scent of normalcy for her three children by enrolling them at school. Things were going smoothly at the beginning but soon, she began noticing that her children were not excited to go to school anymore. As a result, the loving mother had a heart-to-heart with her children about what was going on. They opened up mentioning they were experiencing bullying from their peers making school experiences not as enjoyable as it was.

Immediately, the mother applied to World Vision Syria Response protection project knowing it would provide the needed help, guidance and support. Slowly, Hayat was able to build a trust-worthy relationship with the organisation and its implementing partner Mavi Hilal Vakfı- International Blue Crescent Relief. Staff weren’t strangers anymore and she witnessed firsthand the support they provided to her children.

Second Thoughts

However, Hayat’s insides were being torn apart. She was delighted to see her children finally receive the treatment they deserve.

However, was she receiving the treatment she deserved at home?

Behind closed doors, a tornado of abuse was stealing a piece of Hayat every day. Every morning, Hayat did not know who she would meet, a loving husband or a different version of a shadow of her husband. Days were slow as Hayat was slowly losing herself, learning how to survive, hide, protect her children and repeat the cycle all over again the day after.

While Hayat was dropping her children to World Vision Syria Response’s Centre, a heavy burden was weighing on her shoulders. She wanted to seek support but her tongue was tied. It was fear, it was abuse’s way of scaring the survivor to preserve the abuser. But Hayat had a surge of power she had never experienced before.

Prayers Answered

One day, she entered the centre and was ready to talk, and World Vision Syria Response Partner is always ready to listen.

She explained,

It began on 6 February 2023 the same day as the earthquake. The earthquake didn’t only destroy homes, it demolished families and pushed some people to their breaking point. Her husband is among those people whose severe frustration was exerted upon closest members. Instead of taking refuge in his wife and sharing concerns about the difficulty of living in a displacement camp and finding solutions together, he began expressing verbal violence towards her. Insults coming out of the husband’s mouth seemed like a way of welcoming someone, they were so effortless. But it did not stop with verbal degradation and humiliation, soon physical violence took place.

With every action, something in Hayat broke until she no longer felt any connection with her husband.  She wanted to escape this tornado but the social stigma that society imprints on a divorced woman was too horrific to endure so she stayed silent for another while.

Until the situation became unbearable and her husband married a second wife- in the Islamic religion it is permitted for the man to marry four wives however, there are rules for that to be permitted. For example, her needs to be fair to all of his wives, and treat them equally, he needs to ensure a comfortable life for them all in terms of spending and housing, and more rules. This news broke Hayat, adding salt to the wound. She felt she had nothing left. So, she marched to the centre and began telling her story. At the beginning, she was hesitant and did not accept any type of support as she did not know what she wanted. But World Vision Syria Response partner provided her necessary information and guidance and she met with the partner’s lawyers for more details on how to approach this had she wanted to. During that session, she was walked through her rights, the separation process, child custody, protection services and other mechanisms of support dedicated to her.

Road Finally Leads to Rome

Simultaneously, her husband was being questioned regarding a separate incident which encouraged Hayat to separate from him. Hayat is not alone; she is surrounded by a skilled team of lawyers who are guiding her through the next steps. World Vision Syria Response and its partner are also next to Hayat ready to provide her with the required service hoping it will bring her the peace she deserves.

“I was feeling weak and hopeless, and the support I received here made me more resilient. I went through very difficult processes, but now I have the strength to fight. I would like to express my sincere thanks to everyone who supported me. Unity is the greatest strength in life. Thanks to you, I no longer feel alone,” Hayat expresses.

One in three women experience some type of violence including domestic. This form of violence is the most vicious, survivors feel trapped in the place that is supposed to be safe and peaceful. Projects like this one are a lifeline for survivors like Hayat and 2,247 others.

*Name has been changed to protect identity.