Օne woman's revolutionary impact on her family and community
Rabia is not an ordinary person, she is a revolutionary one. This story will delve into how Rabia has revolutionised her family as well as the women and men of her community.
It is not easy to be a revolutionary woman in many communities in Iraq when there are so many restrictions and boundaries set for women everywhere. Women are often pressured to stay indoors, not to go out, and to be outspoken. It takes tremendous courage to break all these barriers to be free and independent.
But as in most human stories, early childhood experiences play a significant role in the later development of the human character. Rabia was lucky to have grown up in a home where she could have a more diverse experience and do many things on her own early on in her life.
Her father encouraged her to study, pray, fast, and go out. Girls of twelve and thirteen years were confined to their homes and were not allowed to go out. But Rabia’s father allowed her to do many things. She used to go to festivals, street poetry events, carnivals, and scouting. At the third year of primary school, she was the first winner of a contest in sewing and embroidery.
Rabia said, “When I recollect my childhood, I wish I could remain a child. I learned from my father's patience, generousness, and that there is nothing impossible.”
However, life did not stay that way for Rabia. Things changed when she got married at the age of nineteen. “My life changed when I got married. I felt very lonely and that I had no one in the world” said Rabia. She suddenly became a victim of an exchange marriage. Exchange marriage is a form of arranged marriage in Iraq in which a girl is married off in exchange for a member of her family be it a brother, uncle or cousin marrying a girl from another family. It is an exchange of marriage between two certain families. In Rabia’s situation, one of her brothers wanted to marry a girl from another family.
“People say girls usually get happy to get wed, but until now I have never known what that happiness was. In my community boys are preferred to girls. And my mother told me that in the future a conflict might happen with my brothers if I would reject this marriage, so I looked into the long-term consequences and submitted to the reality.” Rabia continued, “When I got married, I became lifeless. He was rather unromantic, his financial situation was poor, and for five years he could not buy me any clothes. My family were buying clothes for me.”
Rabia grew up in Hawija, a town that is 66.1 km away from Kirkuk. She was a town girl. Her husband was from one of the nearby villages. It was not easy for Rabia to go through this change in her life, but she persisted in being the active girl she used to be as a child and a teenager.
Rabia didn’t stand still and joined her in-laws in the agricultural lands they owned in the village and followed them when they went to the farm. Rabia wanted to learn from them and started to work for them. She became a farmer and started to make a living. She later started to trade in the village. Rabia noticed that the women in the village didn’t care much about self-care, beauty, and clothes. So Rabia started to bring them a new culture from the town. She started to bring them clothes and talked to them about self-care. Thus, the women started to gather at her place and listen to her. In the village, the women even did not go shopping, the men were shopping for their wives. “I started to go to Kirkuk to bring them back clothes so that they could pick by themselves. I became a farmer, a trader, and a beautician.” Said Rabia.
One day, a man from the village confessed to her that he was very happy about the influence she had on his wife and sent blessings to Rabia. “I felt I had a value. First, I started to have a lot of (women) supporters, then I started to have a financial income, and then I felt that I had a man who took care of me and not neglecting me anymore.”
In the past, Rabia was trying to win her husband's attention, but he didn’t care for her. “He changed completely. After six to seven years, he started to change.” “In the past, he would not walk by my side. Because it is our tradition that a man should walk in front of a woman so that people don’t comment that the woman is leading the man. It is like a source of power for men to leave the woman behind. Now he also assists me with carrying the children. He became a friend to me.”
Rabia was patient with him and never complained about him to her parents. She didn’t allow anyone to talk about him. She took care of herself, and her children and cared for the whole family.
Over the years, her children have grown up and completed their studies. During those days, the women in the village would also send their children to Rabia so that she could teach them since many women in the village did not know how to read and write and barely any of them finished primary school.
Rabia noticed that there was a radical change in the men in her village. She felt that they started to go out with their wives publicly, allowing them to put on makeup. Rabia remembered, “In the past, the women were waking up with the sunrise prayer going to the agricultural fields working and returning at noon to have lunch. The women did not have rest at all. They were like bee cells. But later the men started to allow the women to rest, and they started to hire assistants to help the women. When a woman was getting sick, nobody would believe her. But then they started to take their wives to the doctor and do health checkups for the women. There was a radical change.”
Rabia spent seventeen years in the village and then returned to her home of Hawija with her husband and five children. Today Rabia lives with her husband, children, and grandchildren in one home. Thirteen members are living under one roof. Rabia continued her small trading activity. She said, “I was trading, buying and selling only. I never imagined that ideas, diversity, connections, and marketing could play a role. I did not know about strategies for winning customers. We didn’t know all that.”
Recently, Rabia, 51 years of age, took part in a five-day income-generating skills for women and people living with disabilities through capacity building in water, hygiene and sanitation entrepreneurship and careers. “I learned how to invest money, how to develop a project, expand my ideas, and how to influence customers to attract them.” Said Rabia.
Rabia then received a grant from World Vision Iraq and started her project of plant nursery. “I like greenery, and I feel it gives me a positive energy. After this training, I started to feel that I have a role within my family and my home. My income has increased. It is my project; I am doing the thing that I like the most. I help myself and my family,” said Rabia.
Rabia started to rely on herself. With this project, she started to help herself and her family. With this nursery plant, she was not only able to help her family but also other women in her community. After starting her project, Rabia now runs a small atelier of sewing; she employs other women as well. She has also helped a woman in her neighbourhood by having her start her bakery business.
“I like to develop women’s capacity and have an atelier for women to help them all develop their skills and be able to do independent work. I like to do this because women in my society are oppressed. I am the kind of woman who fights for women's rights,” concluded Rabia.
Through the project of income generation capacity building of women, we have helped build skills, empowering women’s economic independence and helping make dreams come into reality for women. Just like Rabia, we have helped one hundred women with their business skills and had them develop their projects to help them have a sustainable income.