Bring me back to life

Hi everyone, my name is Sami*, I’m 14 years old from Syria and I’m sharing my story today.

My family and I were forcibly evacuated from our home, I remember how we were bombarded from every corner. Nothing was saved, not the people, not the trees, not even the stones. Many people died. We ran away to survive. When we left in 2016, we found safety in an abandoned house in the northwest. It was a ruin, but it was all we could afford. We stayed for a while until we realized this couldn't go on. We were strangers there, without money, without anything. This realization led us to where we are now ensconced in a tent in a displacement camp.

Here, things are not all like 'sunshine and rainbows' as we hoped they would be. The life of displacement is strenuous and eats you alive. Mud is everywhere, the winter is freezing and summer is boiling and tents fall apart as we live inside.

You reminded me of my life before, not a long time ago actually. Seven years ago we had a large house with many rooms, everything was available. Outside, roads were paved, there were banks, schools and I had friends with whom I would march to school. Now, it's something else, we’re not used to this. It’s in the middle of nowhere.

But, we have no choice other than to adapt. My father knew he had to work and provide for his six children. He moves mountains and works and continues to look for work wherever he can. He was originally a tiler, but when he gets a chance, he uses whatever it is. We live on unpredictable incomes. No matter what, we are always grateful.

This is my rule, I live even when bad things happen to me. I remember that for almost a year and several months something heavy closed my chest and everything went black. I blacked out. I felt like my body had a mind of its own, I couldn't control it, and I was at the mercy of those around me. Luckily I was with my family, they took me to the hospital while I was foaming at the mouth. I can't imagine the fear they were experiencing. When I woke up, I opened my eyes to a concerned family, experienced medical staff and serum in my arm.

I was exhausted, I felt that my body was fighting itself. I was fighting myself but I didn't know why and neither did anyone else. I was lying on the bed and stealing my mother's glance. She was drowning in her thoughts, trying to understand what was going on with her child. Luckily the doctor came into the room to calm us down or maybe drop the bomb on us that I suffer from epilepsy. The room fell silent, not knowing how to react. The bright side is that I have my diagnosis, but on the other hand, it’s a lifelong medical condition I have to live with.

All I could do was take the prescribed preventative medication the centre provided me. But I needed to educate myself and my family on how to handle an episode. I had the habit of sitting down whenever I felt an episode was on its way.

However, dealing with Epilepsy isn’t easy. In the beginning, I didn’t know how, I knew I could but I needed help. Sometimes I was ashamed and my friends would stay away from me as if I was a virus-contagious. But I wasn’t, I told them but they wouldn’t listen and this made going to school much harder. Maybe they were afraid of me because I lost control of my body.

So I knew I needed to take action and while I was talking to my mother she mentioned a psychological support centre here. We asked for support. Fortunately, I was referred to a mental health specialist who oversaw my case. He taught me how to handle an attack, and that there is nothing to be ashamed of. I should never be ashamed of sickness. He said that I need to check the triggers and refrain from them to reduce the frequency of attacks. Establishing daily routine, including sleeping, eating habits can help; also I need to take my medication on time. These sessions continued for 3 days consequently then once every 15 days.

During the sessions I feel as if I am at home, the doctor is sincere, he listens to me. The attribute I love the most, he is genuine. His advice and medications provided by the centre reduced the number of attacks greatly. I cannot remember the last attack because I have been following up closely with the doctor’s instructions.

On a last note, I want to tell other children who’ve been through a heavy mental toll, to please seek psychological support, they will help you as they helped me.

With the gracious support of Aktion Deutschland Hilft, World Vision Syria Response and its Partner Independent Doctors Association reached 262 people and provided them with psychological support to overcome mental health challenges.

* Name is changed to protect identity

This story has been produced with the financial assistance of Aktion Deutschland Hilft e.V. The contents of this document are the sole responsibility of World Vision Syria Response and can under no circumstances be regarded as reflecting the position of Aktion Deutschland Hilft e.V.Ն