A farewell to my old self
Dear Diary,
I still remember it like it was yesterday, my first day at the English club in my school in Irbid. Everything around me was blurry and unclear, not just because of my vision but because of how isolated and confused I felt. I was always the quiet girl in class, who found a companion in my glasses. You see, I always thought that school would be my safe space but every day, girls in my class would bully me or even worse, simply act like I wasn’t there, all just because I have a visual disability. The pain would settle deep in my heart, and I’d always wonder why this is happening to me. I felt I couldn’t even stand up for myself, words would get tangled and fear would get the best of me. My feelings were so intense that I avoided everyone, I just thought that the only reason anyone would talk to me is to bully me. But not anymore.
Today, with all the support I got, that girl feels like someone I used to know, a stranger I left behind. It all began when World Vision Syria Response came to our school, offering more support than I ever expected. Not only did they play a role in my personal growth, they ensured I thrived academically and mentally, one step at a time.
As a middle schooler, I always acknowledged the importance of the English language but always found it to be challenging, especially with my disability. But when World Vision Syria Response started their project, one of the first things I did last year was joining the English club they established for us in school. In the club, we were able to learn and enhance our English language skills through various engaging learning methods.
Sometimes I stop and just think about my first day there when I was in, I still recall it; barely being able to introduce myself, and feeling shy and reluctant. I still didn’t even know the numbers in English or the days of the week, or even simple words like apple or school. But the teachers were patient and caring and made sure to teach us all about essential English words and grammar, all through engaging activities that made learning fun and exciting. They even gave me extra classes in the “Resource Room”, a space full of different educational tools where specialized teachers gave us extra curated classes to help us excel academically.
Slowly but surely, and with the support from the English club and resource room, I could finally read, write, and even make sentences in English! The first time I read an English sentence out loud in front of my classmates, I felt like I conquered the world, I felt so proud of myself, I can speak confidently, something I never thought was possible before the project.
But you might be wondering, how did World Vision Syria Response provide aid for my disability? Well, regarding my vision, World Vision provided me with a digital magnifier. It’s this amazing device that allows me to see words and pictures clearly. Before, I would struggle to read or see the board in class, and it made me feel left behind. But with this tool, the words became clear, and so did my confidence boost. What made me even more thrilled was that I don’t have to go to the resource room to get this type of support; my teacher, who understands my condition, is present for support during all my classes. Finally, I get to stay with my classmates and learn at the same pace as them. For the first time in a very long time, I felt like I’m part of the group and not an outsider.
Although I was delighted to learn with all my colleagues my age, a big concern was always there on my mind; how can I get rid of all the bullying that made me view school as a negative experience sometimes?
Beyond academics, World Vision worked constantly to me feel truly accepted. The teachers gathered all my classmates and talked about bullying, encouraging everyone to be kind and understanding to one another. They talked about respect, love, and inclusion, for all. Through their kind words, the bullying finally stopped and I felt more confident to stand up for myself and even change my views on who I am for the better. Instead of bullying, I found new friends who valued and appreciated me. This was the most incredible change of all. I went from being scared to speak and engage with anyone to feeling like I belonged.
Not focusing my energy on the bullying and the difficult learning conditions, allowed me to explore hidden passions and talents. I discovered my passion for art, specifically drawing. Art classes became my escape, a place where I could be free to express myself. And now, with the encouragement from my teachers, I see it as part of my future, where I dream of becoming a famous painter, a goal ignited in me after all the support and self-love I finally touched after years. My teachers tell me I have a natural talent, that my drawings are beautiful, I can’t wait to enhance my skills and unleash my creativity more and more.
School has transformed from a place that felt distant and cold to one that feels like a second home. What can I say, the teachers are warm, the classes are filled with activities and I finally gained new awesome friends to share my journey with. I’m beyond grateful for World Vision and my wonderful teachers. Looking back, I now see the strength I never knew I possess. It’s an amazing feeling, to feel included, loved and appreciated. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for me, for the first time, I feel ready to face it. I’m not alone anymore, and I’m now so much stronger than ever.
With love,
Dana*
*Name has been changed to protect identity.
