A Mother’s Journey Back into Motherhood

In a house full of love, happiness and safety, a family of seven lived peacefully without any fears of tomorrow. Every day, the mother stood in the kitchen preparing a delicious meal as her children came back from school. They eat quickly, finish their homework and get ready to play in their beautiful yard. When they hear the sound of the keys, they hurry towards the door, excited to see their father after a long tiring day at work. Unfortunately, this is not the reality anymore for 30-year-old Shireen*, her husband and five children. 

Today, the family lives in a flimsy tent without any source of heat in winter, with the bare life necessities. The father is sick and can’t afford for his family, so he stays with the two little children as they don’t attend school. All of that happened when bombarding reached their home and flung them out. “The shelling intensified again on our neighbourhood so we decided to flee and not return. My husband rented a car in which we put some clothes, winter blankets for the children and a few kitchen utensils," Shireen recalls. The family embarked on a tough journey during the cold winter weather and rainy atmosphere, moving between seven villages before finally settling in one of Idlib's displacement camps. They had to adjust to a completely different life, where they became in desperate need of the minimum life necessities due to the extremely challenging economic circumstances.  

"Because of the difficult conditions these days, my fourteen-year-old son dropped out of school and he and I became workers on agricultural land so we could afford to pay for my husband treatment because he is sick, cannot work and needs surgery on his back vertebrae," 

The strenuous conditions they are currently living, resulted in a significant decline in the family’s economic situation, particularly after her husband got sick, suffering from the disc disease. This has put a huge strain on her to become the sole breadwinner and carry all the burden on her own. Securing their basic needs became a luxury, forcing the 14-year-old child to drop out of school and work with his mother to support the family. Only two of the children attend school, and the two little ones stay at home with their father while Shireen and her elder son are working.

When winter approaches, working in agricultural fields becomes harder for Shireen and her son. In the tents, their suffering increases as their tent doesn’t withstand the heavy rain and strong wind. They also struggle to cope with the very low temperatures and how to keep themselves warm as much as possible.

Shireen’s dedication to work and providing for her family has stolen something from her, spending most of her day at work, has taken away her motherhood as she couldn’t manage both roles concurrently. This impacted her relationship with her children. As she devoted her efforts and mind thinking about how to meet her children's daily requirement. However, children also require constant care and attention from their parents, as well as a sense of safety when discussing their problems with them. "My children were afraid to talk to me about their various problems, because they always see in my facial features anger and fatigue, and when they try to talk, I would really get angry and distract them immediately, and this behaviour prompted them to remain silent permanently,” Shireen recalled on how her children felt. This has made her feel remorse as she knew how important the mother figure in her children’s life. She knew that from her childhood, when her mother used to help her feel better when she was in pain, the one to talk with when she was sad, the one who cheers her up and encourage when she felt down. She knew she should learn how to compromise between her responsibilities to give her children the space to express, discuss and ask for advice. So, her heart drove her towards finding a solution and seeking help.

Shireen wanted to fix this situation and become the source of comfort, safety and support to her children like any other mother.  She heard of a child protection project implemented by World Vision’s partner in northwest Syria. She didn’t hesitate a second to register for the "Parenting Skills Training" offered by the project to support parents and guide them. "When I heard that the organisation team was coming to the camp, I went to attend the sessions immediately, hoping that I could get aid, during these sessions I learned many skills, such as; how to deal with children and not to make the pressures of life an obstacle to dealing with my children," Shireen expressed.

Shireen along with 4,041 other parents [Men/Women] benefited from attending these sessions, "After attending the parental skills training, the situation became different, I am able to give my children enough time to listen to them and not make them feel the harsh pressures of life because they are innocent children who have no guilt." 

Shireen managed to learn how to deal with her children and this helped her feel satisfied and improved her psychological state. However, this is not enough as she still aims to provide her family with everything they need and help her children pursue their education to build their own future. "I see that I achieved a great achievement when I was able to work and support my husband, I dream that my children will return to school, complete their studies and live a decent life." 

*Names are changed to protect identity.