THE AFTERMATH: A sad story of violence
The pain of grief is highly intense as parents struggle to accept the finality of never seeing their child again. Agnes Chirimi a widow from Katakura village in Rusambo AP is one such parent, who was very heartbroken after losing her daughter *Rudo (not her real name) to gender based violence. She speaks about experiencing an unimaginable void as memories of her late child flood her mind.
Squeezing her wrinkled hands together to try and stop herself from crying she retells how she lost her daughter. “Last year November, that is when she died” she said. We sat outside her small kitchen stoep as we enquired about her experience with GBV.
Agnes described her daughter’s marriage as difficult. She was a house wife married to a subsistence farmer who was almost always struggling to make ends meet. She believes that her son in law had serious anger issues because he had also tried to stab his uncle after a dispute. An incident she had learnt of only after her daughter’s death. She described how people told her that this uncle lived in fear after that incident. We asked if her daughter Rudo was aware of or had she complained about husband’s abusive nature before?
She narrated how her daughter never complained. They hardly visited each other since they lived far away from each other therefore making it hard for them to sit down and talk about many issues that mothers and daughters typically discuss. However, she would hear abuse rumours from her neighbours and she silently hoped and prayed that her daughter’s marriage would get better.
She appeared to be reliving the moment she heard the news of her daughter’s passing. She proceeded to speak with her head hanging down after we asked her if she knew why Rudo was killed.
“I do not know why he killed her, people say the couple used to fight a lot, I wish I knew what angered him so much that he would stab my child” she said.
She explained that, her daughter’s neighbors discovered her dead body after being alerted by the continuous helpless crying of her 6-month-old grandchild. She believes that her daughter was caught unaware by her husband since no one heard her scream. Agnes shared how happy she was when her son in law was eventually caught after attempting to flee.
“I am happy, he is now in jail because people like him are a danger to society” she said.
Agnes affectionately described how her grandchild often reminded her of Rudo. She shared how raising her grandchild was challenging before World Vision Zimbabwe intervened. She could not afford to buy baby formula. The organization has been helping her raise her grandchild by donating baby supplies on a monthly basis. She expressed her gratitude to World Vision Zimbabwe for donating groceries, formula, clothes and diapers.
I would like to thank World Vision for the support they have been giving my grandchild,
Agnes’s story paints a clear picture of the dark side of gender-based violence. Her story and many others teach us to never ignore the red flags of gender-based violence. Sadly, many GBV stories end in serious harm or even death. Surviving family members continue to live with and carry the burden of pain. It is important that we check on our loved ones, report cases of violence to the police , be aware, check for signs of abuse and always call out violence in all its forms. World Vision continues to check-on and support Agnes and the baby through their journey of healing.